If you’re not getting happier as you get older, then you’re fuckin’ up.
I hate it when people pour my cereal.
They don’t know how much I want.
They don’t know my life.
They don’t know what I’ve been through!
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
Dear guys, every text you get from a girl was actually composed by a minimum of three girls.